FAQ

This is a good question, since there are many and varied mindfulness practices. MediSAYtion is a partner practice. It’s spoken. And it’s simple.

The key is in the human psyche. We’re social creatures. We respond to connection with other humans. Have you ever had the experience of being listened to in a way that made you feel seen, heard, and valued? For this reason we sometimes refer to someone as, “a good listener.” Why is that exactly? It’s due to validation—a good listener is a good validator.

Oprah Winfrey described this brilliantly in an interview in which she said, “I’ve talked to nearly 30 thousand people … and all 30 thousand had one thing in common. They all wanted validation … Every single person you ever will meet shares that common desire. They want to know: Do you see me? Do you hear me? Does what I say mean anything to you?”

In mediSAYtion, the Silent Witness is fully present and listening only to the SAYer, and this focused listening is a powerful form of validation.

So, the SAYer gets to speak present-moment experiences, and the Silent Witness provides the safety of someone watching over the SAYer, and provides validation through focused listening without comment. The combination is powerfully effective at opening the SAYer’s heart, allowing a curious SAYer to explore their inner world, heal trauma, and grow themselves. All of this is what makes mediSAYtion so incredibly unique and valuable.

We find this is dictated by personal preference.  Some people like doing mediSAYtion as often as daily, and for some others, one to three times each week.

It’s a bit like any other beneficial practice—you’ll find a somewhat “regular” pace that meets your needs and available time, and perhaps add an extra session here and there because it’s so valuable and enjoyable.

It really depends upon what you’re looking for from your session.  If you’d simply like to get yourself more into the present moment or calm your nerves, five minutes each is often enough.  More time usually means more depth and more profound results.

If you can make the time for this practice, you’ll be valuably rewarded by the time spent exploring/healing/growing at depth.  Those of us who are more experienced with mediSAYtion tend to like 60-75 minute sessions, with each partner in the SAYer role for five minutes as a warmup and calming practice, and then 20-30 minutes each to go deeper.

The real power and magic of mediSAYtion come from one person (the SAYer) sharing present-moment experiences while being witnessed and validated by another (the Silent Witness). The Silent Witness actually provides two benefits: validation and safety.

Safety, because as the SAYer, your eyes are closed, and knowing someone is watching over you, allows your nervous system to relax substantially more.

Validation, because we’re wired as humans to respond to validation. It’s incredibly powerful to share and be heard. Speaking present moment sensations, emotions, and imagery, and having another human hear you, allows magic to happen. Those who’ve done mediSAYtion can attest to this.

And as always, you’re encouraged to experiment for yourself and share what you learn in our forums.

Because it has roots in meditation, and has some similarities to meditation in its stillness and present-moment-ness, yet it’s a spoken practice. You SAY things during your session, so we dubbed it, mediSAYtion™.

This practice was a seed, passed over for years, and yet passed on to us by people who spent their lives meditating silently.

“Passed over” because those who knew of this practice seemed to be satisfied with their silent practice, and were not looking for something new. “Passed on” because it was known to have potential, and so was shared through the years via a chain of silent, solo practitioners, in the hope that some day, someone might run with it.

Dale Figtree was a devoted meditator who’d been exposed to this seed along her 45 year path of solo, silent meditation practice. She met Alan Cooney, a man who wanted to meditate, yet who had tremendous difficulty sitting still for any length of time. Dale showed Alan this seed of a spoken partner practice. He could do it! And he LOVED it.

Dale and Alan expanded, refined, and explored what’s possible with the practice while doing it daily. Their excitement at its tremendous value gained momentum, until Alan gave it a fun name and decided to build a website to share it with the world.

We know the practice today as mediSAYtion, and this community website is for the purposes of sharing and practicing it.

Though we prefer it in person, we find it works REALLY well online. It’s perhaps 90% as good over a video chat such as Zoom. We commonly practice online even with our local friends. Think of it like chatting over tea or coffee with a dear friend—better in person, right? And yet also really great to get on video if that person is in another state or country.

And as a member of the mediSAYtion.com community, you get to practice with a wide variety of enthusiastic and skilled mediSAYtors all over the planet. Think of it as building your superpower of vulnerability (as the SAYer) and your compassion (as the Silent Witness) with many different and amazing people.

MediSAYtion is all about getting highly present. So, we encourage you to explore doing mediSAYtion in settings with minimal distractions.

We find that noises and activity tend to reduce one’s ability to remain present, thus limiting what’s possible with your mediSAYtion session. This includes any internal distractions, such as concerns you might have about being judged by others listening nearby.

We have also tried walking mediSAYtion and eyes open mediSAYtion, and find these to be quite interesting and also more advanced. You’re encouraged to try such things … and we recommend doing so after you’ve got some skill with the practice.

This comes down to personal preference of the SAYer. We encourage the Silent Witness to ask, and/or for the SAYer to let the Silent Witness know their preference.

Some SAYers like to hear the subtle sounds from the other person as they would when doing mediSAYtion in person, as it reminds them the other person is there. And when doing mediSAYtion online, electronics can tend to amplify subtle sounds in the Silent Witness’ environment, and some SAYers find this distracting.

So, let your partner know your preference. If you’re unsure, we recommend that you begin unmuted, and request muting at any time during your session if you prefer.

We recommend some form of seated position, with your back mostly upright. Some people prefer the standard lotus position common to meditation, others like a little meditation stool, while many prefer sitting on a chair, couch, or bed.

MediSAYtion can be incredibly relaxing for both partners; lying down can lead to falling asleep. All that said, you’re of course invited to try whatever you like. MediSAYtion is an evolving practice with community input, and experimentation is always encouraged.

This question is important.  We humans commonly like to provide commentary on what others have said. And doing so is usually detrimental to a practice in which the SAYer is likely to be in an extremely vulnerable, open state. Advice can be perceived as a hurtful invalidation. It can cause emotional pain in someone who has just bared their inner world to you.

Even comments that might seem positive, such as, “Wow! That was amazing!” might be received as hurtful if someone is in a deeply vulnerable, introspective state, as it can jarringly snap them out of such a deep state.

There’s a question that’s often attributed to Sufi tradition: “Is it true? Is it kind? Does it need to be said?” We’ve found over the years with mediSAYtion that there are two things you can do and say when a SAYer is complete. First, simply acknowledge them with some visual gesture. Second, a simple, “Thank you.” Both are a beautiful, honoring, final validation.

First, simply acknowledge each other with some visual gesture. Second, a simple, “Thank you.” Both are a beautiful, honoring, final way to validate your partner.

There are three main reasons for the visual acknowledgment:

First, to signal and acknowledge the completion of your segment.

Second, to validate, honor, and appreciate each other—the SAYer for their vulnerability, courage, and commitment, and the Silent Witness for their commitment, and for holding safe, validating space.

Third, to honor the lineage of the practice, and other practitioners the world over.

We strongly encourage eyes closed for the SAYer. This is for the same reason that we also strongly encourage doing your practice in a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed.

Why?  Because our eyes and ears take in a LOT of information (far more with the eyes), and the brain is wired to process that information in real time. Add to that the fact that humans are also wired to pay close attention to facial expressions, and that you’re doing this practice with a partner. So, having your eyes open can be quite a distraction.

That said, it’s quite possible to develop the skills to include visual input during your practice, and this can pay huge dividends in your daily life. We explore this and many other topics in depth in our forums.